Starting on a new dating site can feel like stepping into a room without knowing the layout. Here is the layout: what you do first, what you control and what happens when you pay, so nothing comes as a surprise.
One rule comes before every step. Whoever you are and wherever you live, members must be 18 or over (21 in some US states).
Stage 1: Create a profile that protects you
You begin with a handful of basics and a username. That username is what other members see, so your real name and email address stay out of view. Pick something that has never appeared on your social accounts, work profiles or gaming handles.
Your profile also shows where you are, but only as the nearest town or city. Nobody sees a street, a postcode or a live location. If you live in a small place, think about whether the nearest larger town would feel more comfortable, and keep other clues out of your description.
Write a short introduction that says what you are looking for without naming your employer, your neighborhood or anything a friend would recognize. Tone matters more than detail at this stage.
Setup is simple, as there is nothing to download, and the site works in your phone's browser. A laptop or desktop browser is fine too, and a private window keeps the session off your history once closed.
Stage 2: Decide who sees what
Before you add a single picture, look at the privacy settings.
Photos. You choose which members can view each image. A sensible approach is to keep a neutral picture visible and hold back anything showing your face until you have talked with someone for a while. You can grant access to one person and leave everyone else seeing nothing new.
Profile visibility. Settings let you decide how much of your profile is on show. Tighten them while you settle in, then open up a little as you grow more confident.
Your own habits. The settings do their job far better alongside a separate email address, a locked phone and message previews hidden from the lock screen. Our discreet affair privacy routine covers that step by step.
Stage 3: Choose a plan
Two plans are offered, each for a fixed period.
VIP gives you private messaging, photo permissions, profile visibility controls and discreet billing. It also opens the members-only chat rooms, and inside those rooms you can start a private group chat with the members you invite.
VIP Plus includes everything in VIP, and its priority placement puts the messages you send and the likes you give in a more visible position.
| Period | VIP (US dollars) | VIP Plus (US dollars) |
|---|---|---|
| 1 week | $19.99 | $22.99 |
| 1 month | $42.81 | $51.39 |
| 3 months | $102.73 | $128.44 |
| 6 months | $128.31 | $154.03 |
| 12 months | $260.19 | $338.41 |
Prices in Canadian dollars, pounds, euros and Australian dollars appear on the pricing page; as a guide, VIP costs C$19.99, £14.99, €16.99 or A$24.99 for 1 week. Billing is discreet on every plan, so the charge does not spell out what it is for.
Stage 4: Start conversations
Once you are on a plan, you can message the members who interest you. Conversations are private between the two of you. Open with something specific from their profile rather than a line you could send to anyone, and leave the other person space to answer as they wish.
The chat rooms give you a second way to meet people. They suit anyone who prefers a relaxed group conversation before a one-to-one chat. Chat room messages are kept for three months, so treat anything you write there with the same care as a private message.
Hold your first chats here on the site. Switching to a personal messaging app hands over your number and often your profile picture, and it moves you away from the site, where support answers live chat around the clock. If someone pushes hard to switch, treat it as a warning sign.
Stage 5: Stay in control
Stop replying. If a conversation stops feeling right, you can simply end it. You do not owe anyone an explanation.
Ask support. If a profile or message seems fake, abusive or aimed at getting money, contact support by live chat or message; it is open 24/7.
Verify, if you want to. Identity verification is optional. A completed check means the member's documents matched them; it cannot reveal intentions, so your own judgment still counts.
Ask for help. Someone is there around the clock on live chat or through messages, whether the question is about billing, settings or a member who worries you.
For advice on checking a match, meeting safely and reporting fraud, visit the safety page. For the qualities that mark out a trustworthy partner, see our piece on whether you can trust a potential affair partner. If you think you have met a scammer, you can report it to the Federal Trade Commission on the FTC's ReportFraud site.
The first date
For a first date, pick a busy public place away from where you live and work, and arrange your own travel. Tell nobody the details you would not want repeated, keep your phone charged, and leave if something feels off. Agree in advance how you will each handle being seen by someone you know.
A sensible first week
If you are new to affair dating, give yourself a gentle start. Spend the first days setting up your profile and privacy settings properly rather than messaging widely. Take part in a chat room conversation only once you have a feel for the tone there. When you start a private chat, keep it light and specific, and pay attention to whether your limits are respected. The 1-week VIP plan costs $19.99, and the longer periods are listed on the pricing page.
Taking a break or stepping away
Life changes. If you need to pause, tighten your visibility settings and step back from conversations. If you decide to leave, support can talk you through the options for your account, and it is worth deleting old photos and clearing saved sessions from your devices as you go.